5 Myths Your Bubby Told You About Women

My Jewish Grandmother was a woman of few words, but when it came to my love life she had plenty to say. When I arrived home from high school with my first Catholic girlfriend, my Bubby cautioned me that, "it's okay to date Shiksas as long as it's only for practice." She never warned me that a goyisheh girl could break my heart just as easily as a Jewish one could.

After more than two decades of dating, it's become clear that there were lots of things my bubby forgot to tell me about women. Never once did she mention that there were nice Jewish girls who knew how to be naughty. I wish she would have, because I only got the pleasure to find that out in graduate school and by then I was already past my peak.

My bubby also had me trained to think that beautiful women were only attracted to doctors or lawyers, and that's why I needed to become one. Well, I didn't go that route, and I've done quite well, thank you very much.

And I still struggle to understand why my Bubby made such an effort to teach me good manners. Didn't she know that women are often drawn to shmucks, at least until they are well into their thirties? And why did she instruct me to "judge a woman by the quality of her chicken soup"? If she only knew that most of the women I meet cannot even boil an egg.

I have come to the painful conclusion that despite my Bubby's best intentions, we have come a long way from the shtetl where she was raised. I'd like to tell you that this realization has caused me sorrow but I am happier with the way things are today, now that they are a little naughtier. :-)

In that spirit, here are five common myths your Bubby may have told you to help you with your dating life:

Myth #1: It's Okay to Practice on the Shiksas: Don't kid yourself, just because Abraham and Moses were able to escape the power of "shiksappeal," doesn't mean you will. So unless you want to play for keeps, remember that Delilah is the reason Samson lost all his strength.

Myth #2: Nice Jewish Girls Don't Know How to Be Naughty: "Seek and you Shall Find." - The verse may be extracted from the New Testament but in this case the message still applies. Nice on the outside and dirty in the bedroom exists, so keep the faith and do not settle until you find that open-minded Jewish woman, assuming that's what you're seeking.

Myth #3: Beautiful Women Are Only Attracted to Doctors or Lawyers: Maybe in another time and place, but you don't see David Duchovny struggling for sex and he's one of our tribe!

Myth #4: Mind Your Manners: It's always a good thing to hold the door open for others, but if you're too much of a softy it may hit you in the face.

Myth #5: Judge a Woman By Her Culinary Capabilities: If you spend your life searching for a woman who can whip up a good batch of chicken soup, you may be single for a long time. Why bother holding the stakes so high when it's easier to order-in? Besides, in today's world a real mensch knows how to cook for a woman.

Oh, one last thing, I almost forgot. If your Bubby told you. "It's just as easy to marry a rich girl as it is a poor girl" it's time to be honest with yourself – in this economy no one really has money, so that one's a moot point.

By B. Katz of SingleEdition.com for JPeopleMeet.com

 

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